FAMILIAL HARMONY

FAMILIAL HARMONY

Human civilizations and social colonies have evolved, existed and served as cornerstones of a well-balanced basis for harmonious co-existence of a diverse and often competing universe of inhabitants of the earth. Each social group evolved and unconditionally adopted informal social structures for smooth administration of group functions and conflict resolution.

Humankind also functioned under such a system with formal administrative structures supported by well-defined responsibilities and authority. This formed the basis for a disciplined and cordial existence. Family units, social groups, corporations, governments, places of learning, places of worship and such other spheres of co-existence and co-operative endeavour functioned under such a system. The system still lives and serves well.

One single exception is a FAMILY UNIT that is gradually but surely drifting away from these time-tested principles, bringing forth a tragic state of indiscipline, chaos and constant conflict. The fundamental unit of human society is in disarray.

Today, an acceptable level of relationship is only as good as what the participants want, and not what is desirable. Beyond this level, we see pretentious relationships that are motivated or sustained by self-interest, social pressures and familial bonds. In this enforced state, family units exist and interact in a "make-believe world". This uncomfortable lifestyle often generates tensions, anger, frustrations, bitterness, hostility and such other negative emotions. In this dammed-up and fragile state, small events tend to spark hostile behavior and cause strained relationships, damaging the quality of living so fundamental to human existence and endeavor.

If this web of familial and social pressures are relaxed or removed, relationships may freely settle down to acceptable levels in each individual unit, and between the constituents of the larger family unit. A voluntary and cordial pattern of co-existence may evolve. The players may feel free to compromise traditional values without guilt and opt for this "dream state" to win the independence they are seeking and aspiring for.

This unfettered family unit may well be an acceptable model for the future. Peaceful, joyful and productive, for all. Every basic family unit (nuclear family) must strive to insulate itself from the pulls and pushes of affiliated families. This would reduce the interpersonal problems to manageable levels, largely confined to each unit.

Let's be honest; who are we trying to fool by living in a "make believe world". Reality is more durable in the long run.

(Nuclear families have existed in the developed world quite long. Several families in India too (especially in Metros) have opted for this. However, nuclear families are now realising the benefits of joint families especially with regard to overall support and security, and for support in bringing up children. Those not having their in-laws in the same city feel this even more. A system that combines the advantages of both Joint and Nuclear families would be ideal. Any thoughts on this?

Besides that, one cannot ignore the sufferings of aged parents and grandparents who are left to fend for themselves. This is a pathetic fallout of the concept of breaking "Joint Families" into nuclear families. In fact, it is a well-recognised social challenge today. Several initiatives to establish 'Senior Citizens' Homes' have come into being. Hope this serves as a solution in the years to come. These problems must be satisfactorily addressed, before we close the debate.)